Saturday, January 14, 2006

MEMORANDUM FOR RECORD

From: Slightly Rough, Inc. Legal Department
Av. Tarragona, 88-11
Edifici les Columnes, despatx 17
Andorra la Vella - CP: AD500
Principality of Andorra

To: Whom it may concern

Subj: Legal Liability of Statements by Employees of Slightly Rough, Inc.

Slightly Rough, Inc., a Cayman Islands Company, maintains this website to enhance public access to information about its initiatives, its policies in general, and to tell fart jokes. Our goal is to keep this information timely and accurate. If errors are brought to our attention, we will try to correct them. If we stay sober long enough.

However Slightly Rough, Inc. accepts no responsibility or liability whatsoever with regard to the information on this site nor to the statements made on other sites by employees, officers, or owners of Slightly Rough, Inc., or any of its subsidiaries. (At the present time, these subsidiaries include Slightly Rough Dittybags, Ltd., Mason and Lily Catfood Storage, LLC, and General Electric.)

The information contained in this site (aka, "web paper," aka "blog," aka "stupid waste of time") is:

* of a general nature only and is not intended to address the specific circumstances of any particular individual or entity, living or dead, hairy or shaven;
* not necessarily comprehensive, complete, accurate or up to date;
* although the corporation has set as a goal for itself a complete site update when Front Page Express 2.0 is released;
* sometimes linked to external sites over which Slightly Rough, Inc. has no control and for which Slightly Rough, Inc. assumes no responsibility;
* not professional or legal advice (if you need specific advice, you should always consult a suitably qualified professional) (but not necessarily a lawyer) (although, some of our best friends are lawyers);
* probably not even worth any of your time.

Please note that it cannot be guaranteed that a document available on-line exactly reproduces an officially adopted policy statement of Slightly Rough, Inc. Only policy statements published in paper editions of the Genuinely Official-like Records of Slightly Rough, Inc. are deemed authentic. These policy statements are hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar kept in a vault in L'Ă€NGEL BLAU, Carrer de la Borda, 5, Andorra La Vella, Principality of Andorra. Public access to these policy statements is provided on the second Tuesday of each week at 20:00 hours US Pacific Standard Time. Contact Jean-Louis Lebris de Kerouac at the above address for more information.

Please note that in accordance with the policy statement adopted by the Slightly Rough, Inc. Board of Directors at the winter meeting of December 31, 2005, employees of Slightly Rough, Inc. and its subsidiaries are resolved to be nicer to people in calendar year 2006, A.D. Therefore, statements complimenting others are intended as a gesture of good will and do not represent a contractual obligation undertaken by Slightly Rough, Inc. Employees, officers, staff, and contracted personnel are encouraged by this resolution to foster good relations with other web sites but not to enter into any business alliances, dalliances, or partnerships with other sites, web papers, blogs, webzines, or MySpace account holders. Unless those dalliances are with certain former USAF personnel currently residing in Chelyabinsk, Russian Federation. We'd totally go gay for Steve.

It is our goal to minimize disruption caused by technical errors. However some data or information on our site may have been created or structured in files or formats that are not error-free and we cannot guarantee that our service will not be interrupted or otherwise affected by such problems. It is possible that the rodents running in the cages that currently power the servers could become debilitated, spindled, or mutilated. Slightly Rough, Inc. accepts no responsibility with regard to such problems incurred as a result of using this site or any linked external sites. Or any site anywhere, any time, under any circumstances. Especially if you're a Mac person. If so, you're really hosed.

This disclaimer is not intended to limit the liability of Slightly Rough, Inc. in contravention of any requirements laid down in applicable national law nor to exclude its liability for matters which may not be excluded under that law. Unless we can convince a judge otherwise. Then we'll try to get out of everything.

Slightly Rough, Inc. is deeply indebted to the fine one-worlders at the European Commission for not suing us for taking and changing around their disclaimer.

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